


Oblivion

by whathopewrites3



Series: Songs of Reylo [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Rey Needs A Hug, Seriously they're so sad, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 02:02:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13284576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whathopewrites3/pseuds/whathopewrites3
Summary: When oblivionIs calling out your nameYou always take it furtherThan I ever canAs the war rages on around them, Kylo wonders if he will ever get to see Rey grow old.





	Oblivion

**Author's Note:**

> This is the fastest and most organically I've ever written a fic! Hope you guys enjoy it as I very much enjoyed writing it.
> 
> Inspired by the Bastille song Oblivion ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgXOPeobPcI ).  
> To those of you who aren't familiar with the song I highly recommend a listen. If I continue with Songs of Reylo you can bet to see a lot more Bastille as I think they really embody the ~vibe~ I feel for Ben/Rey's relationship.

Kylo sensed the minute Rey fell asleep. Her head was on his shoulder, exactly where it had been the past several nights and where he had come to expect it at this point. The bond allowed them to be together, despite being systems away. A part of her was in his arms but another part was somewhere else entirely. Rey always fell asleep first, she was sleeping more and more these days. He envied that from her, though of course he knew why it was happening. The sadness and the worry that stopped him from resting seemed to make Rey never stop. 

She was so beautiful lying next to him. She looked so small as she slept, cuddling into him so that she was a petite ball wrapped in blankets. Her tan skin contrasted with his pale chest in such a way that she almost looked as if she was glowing. As she lay against him, Kylo couldn’t help but wonder if he would ever see that long brown hair be flecked with streaks of grey. Kylo figured Rey would age gracefully, her skin slowly sinking with lines. She would get crow’s feet around her eyes to make her look wiser and laughter lines to bring out her smile. Time would soften her, slowly dulling the edges that Jakku had made so hard. The lines of her hips would fill slightly as she continued to eat on a regular basis. The scars she earned through countless battles would fade into delicate champagne swirls along her skin.

Rey was so sad though, so tired. Each day he could feel her pushing and pushing, but he wasn’t certain where she was trying to go anymore. There was a lot of pressure to being “the last Jedi” and every time he saw her it seemed to weigh on her more. Kylo figured that was the reason she let him back in, because he was the only one who understood the pressure, who could maybe understand her insecurity and shame. 

~~~

When Rey had closed that door on Crait, Kylo had thought that would be the end of it. If Snoke had linked their minds then shouldn’t his death and Rey’s departure be the end of their bond? Clearly the Force didn’t see it that way. At first when they fizzled into each other’s consciousness, he would yell at her, furious at her for abandoning him. Rey refused to look or speak to him, which initially just made him yell more but eventually Kylo too fell into an angry silence. They would connect during meetings, as he trained, or as he took meals but they just met each other in stony silence. He could feel the anger radiating off of her, but still Rey refused to speak. That was until the night she materialized, crying with her face hidden in shame in the middle of his bedroom.

Kylo didn’t know what to do. She didn’t want him, she’d made that abundantly clear. He felt he should touch her somehow, put his hands on her shoulders or something but that seemed too much for him. It felt like a lifetime ago that they had reached out to each other in that small hut and he wasn’t certain he’d touched anyone else since. She looked so weak, her hair coming to pieces over her hands, her body shaking as sobs tore through her. 

“Who did this to you,” he asked, the only thing he could think to say to her. As angry as he was with her, he hated to see her so broken and he could feel anger seeping into his bones like an all too familiar friend. Rey finally looked up at him, her face startled, as if she had been too distraught to even notice the bond flaring in the first place. The way her tears stuck to her eyelashes made her all the more enchanting, and he quickly realized this was the first time she had looked at him since Crait. Her face looked so broken, so alone, so scared.

She stared at him for what felt like an eternity before she finally spoke. “I should never have reached for my saber.” 

“What?”

“In the throne room, you reached out to me, you trusted me and I… I hurt you. I was so mad at you, kriff I’m still so mad at you, but you didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry,” Rey sniffled. 

He hadn’t expected this. He never expected her to be the one to apologize. “I’m sorry I’m always making you cry,” Kylo replied. 

Rey half smiled at that and it was the most beautiful thing Kylo had ever seen. “Actually,” she said, wiping her face, “these tears weren’t for you… I mean I guess they sort of were, but it’s just, its more…” her voice trailed off and he could hear the waver of uncertainty muting her. 

“You can say it, don’t be afraid,” Kylo said lowly, embarrassed at the huskiness of his voice as he spoke to her. 

“I can’t be what everyone wants me to be. They think I’m going to save them somehow but I don’t know how. I was with Luke for what, a few days? How am I supposed to become some master Jedi with three lessons and some stolen books? I thought I had found a new home yet somehow I’m more alone than ever.” As she spoke her voice became more and more broken. “Everyone has gone through so much, so I can’t put this on them, you know? So, everyday I pretend to be happy and certain and the hero they want me to be. But I’m no hero,” Rey said bitterly. She scrunched up her face again, as if she was trying to force the escaping tears back inside. 

Kylo sat down next to her on his bed, close enough that their shoulders brushed. “You don’t have to be what they want you to be. You’ve done enough for them already. And you’ll never be alone, you will always have me,” he almost whispered. 

Rey exhaled, tears still streaming silently down her face, though Kylo could not tell if it was in relief or defeat. She leaned into him and sighed “I’ve missed you, Ben.” 

He turned to her, heart flooding at the name he thought was lost to him, only to feel her warmth disappear as she faded away.

~~~

Since that day they had sought each other at night. It seemed they were both most open to both each other and the Force when alone in their respective quarters, so like clockwork each night the bond would open and they would be together. They didn’t talk about the war, didn’t talk much at all really, but being together was the only thing that felt quite right. One night Rey fell asleep while holding onto Kylo’s hand and since then it was established that that was how they should always sleep, together. It was too exhausting to pretend not to want each other. His touch helped ease her sadness, and he would give anything he could for that. It was mostly innocent, both of them still scared of going too far, but they had both been starved of touch for too long. 

Nights together didn’t stop the war from raging on around them. They were still enemies. When confronted on the battlefield, with their friends dying around them, there was no choice but to fight. Fighting came naturally to them. No matter how many quiet nights and days there were together, there was still so much anger between the two of them. Rey now had a scar across her left thigh to match the one that carved his face in two. A small part of him was proud of it, another part ashamed. Their fights always ended the same way, with Rey trying to get him to come back with her. She didn’t understand, he didn’t have a choice in this. Kylo wasn’t even sure he cared about control anymore, in the end what did the galaxy really matter to him. But he didn’t know what else to do. Ruling was all he’d ever wanted, all Kylo had ever been told he was good for. He wanted to be with Rey, so much it hurt him, but he couldn’t follow her. Not back to where it all began, not now that his mother was…

Rey shifted in her sleep and turned further into Kylo, thankfully interrupting his train of thought. He didn’t think about his mother if he could help it. So instead he went back to staring at Rey, trying to imagine the future she had once seen of them together but struggling to see anything. As far as Kylo could figure, they were both bound to die in this war. It was unlikely either of the two would get the grey hair and laughter lines they so very much deserved. It would be easy for a stray shot to hit them or for their ships to get bombed out of the sky. Kriff, they might even just die in their sleep from the stress of it all. Scarier than the threat of war was the threat he could feel Rey becoming to herself. Every day he could feel the sadness eating more into her soul, as if she was disappearing in front of his eyes. In the silence of this bedroom Kylo swore he could hear oblivion calling out her name and once she was gone what more did he have to live for. 

They couldn’t fix each other, neither of them were strong enough to take on the task. So instead they simply ran in circles around each other, a planet and its moon doomed to one day crash catastrophically. Kylo would always chase Rey, never able to go quite as far as she could. He would follow her across the stars if he had to, but for now following her to sleep seemed quite enough. Kylo buried his nose into the top of Rey’s head and begged his dreams to take them both to a better future far away from the life he had destroyed. He slowly drifted off, carried away by the warmth of their entangled bodies, the scent of Rey’s hair, and the memory of the name “Ben” on her lips.

**Author's Note:**

> So I think I'm kind of addicted to writing sad Rey? I just feel like it makes so much sense for her to feel lost and alone out there, especially after losing so many of the people she loves. 
> 
> Also, any and all comments are appreciated. I love my Reylo babies and always want to talk about them, plus I could use writing advice as I need all the help I can get!


End file.
